Reading and Bonding

It is a surprise for my hubby and me that our lil'bean loves books a lot. Every now and then she will entertain herself by looking and pointing at the pictures in a book and try to read out loud. Well hopefully she will keep this habit forever! LOL...

Here she is showing her daddy which is her favourite animals and daddy is trying to ask her to pick out the correct animal when he named the animal!

I have already started to read a book to her every night before she sleeps since when she was 18 months old. Surprisingly, she loves it a lot and insists on me reading more and more books before she goes to sleep at night. Well I try to limit it to one, but guess she prefer more or else she will protests and refuse to sleep. I do not know it is a good behaviour or not; but nonetheless I let her choose her own book and read to her till she is satisfied then she will goes to sleep.

The whole idea of this reading time is that both baby and I get to sit down together and share a special moment. This kind of bonding makes her feel happy and loved. It does not matter if I repeat the same old book everyday though! She increases her vocab and language skills as well through the reading moments.

Once someone told me that it is not the content of the book that the baby understands at this young age, but the voice of a parent reading and the sense of security that a parent give does make a difference through this practice! So, I would strongly suggests to all parents if you can spare some time just read for at least a minute or two to your child, they will really appreciate it.

A Disaster

The Earthquake and Tsunami that hit Japan recently made me think a lot about our own fate in future. I know how it feel like when the earth beneath you shake profusely non-stop (which I experience before). It is uncontrollable, unpredictable and nothing you can do. We are lucky here in Malaysia that we do not have disaster like earthquake only bad floods and hot sunshine throughout the year.
I am thankful to god that I am here rather than in elsewhere where disaster often strikes. What made me think of lately is that, I am thankful that I am near my family, so whatever happens we are near and close to each other. What matters most these days are that my loves ones are beside me so if anything really happened, we are not far from reach.
Sad to say that many people that I know are far from their family because of career and living ideology. They choose to be far away........ most elder people I know of are left behind by their kids. Partly because of a better living in another part of the world or a better choice of career opportunity in other places.
No matter how far they are, home is always home and this is a fact they could not be change. If there is a choice, I believe all parents would love to have their children beside them.

Sexy Women...

Oh I just finish reading The Flirt by Kathleen Tessaro. A remarkable novel, it's a romantic comedy, very inspiring indeed too. I want to quote what the book mention about women's sexiness.

Here's an interesting fact:

What is the most sexy part in a woman?

Guess you will never get the correct answer. LOL

The most raw and potent part of sexiness in a woman is her IMAGINATION.

Don't believe me? Ask any woman you know and they will finally reveal and tell you this; not all woman will admit but it is so very true. If not tell me why woman sometimes find her lover boring and does not understand her all the time.... it is because woman like to imagine while man prefer the visual part... that's why people invent pornography for men and not woman!

Also you can see that woman love to buy things to inspire their imagination and hopefuly wish their counterpart will jump into their vision but then again hell..... the man would just jump in and get straight to the point. Well few men will join into those imagination hah! So that's the different between men and women.

So now you get it! :P

About REAL love....

It has been some time that I have not given any opinion about relationships. Well it's about time I guess, since I have been pouring myself with lotsa romantic novels and books. Not to mention sex though! LOL.

Now the topic of love has been around for a long while but I have come across this incredible idea of the REAL love and Romantic love that we are seeking these days. In my opinion, you will get loads of romantic love in the novels, books, movies, songs, etc... in about every entertainment department but never in real life. Whenever there is a romantic love in real life, normally it will not be forever and will end soon.

But I am not to brag about those romantic love, I am here to tell you about the REAL love in life. That is:

R = Responsible.

E = Equal.

A = Adult.

L = Loving.

Here it is if you can find a person like that. He/she must be of the above qualities that you have to find in the REAL love, else the rest of it is not so important.

To most of women, they find SECURITY is the most important thing in life, which is true. If one can give a women security in any sort they will be fine and please and the rest is not as important. Sadly some women wants everything which made things impossible, that's when the other party starts to break apart, that's when the women needs to find peace within herself and do not make things worse. When a guy starts to break, they'll not easily come back to the original state and things starts to get worse and worse......... so women out there be careful what you ask for, no one is perfect including ourselves. Of course this implies to the guys as well. Tolerance always has its limits, don't forget that!

Act 11- My sweet Valentine...

"Had to say this loud and clear...... Happy Valentine!" This is what bedak kid said to me when he met me at the mall just now. I had to ask him whether he knows what Valentine day means. He said yes, as he was given permission by his mum to buy a present for his sweet valentine... who is his girl friend, (Hui Hui) at the kindergarten. Well, I am quite surprise to hear that indeed.

To me, bedak kid is just 6 years of age and is telling me he has a girlfriend....... I wonder kids these days really know what they are into or not? They just tend to follow the trend or influenced by movies and such to get the idea of boyfriend and girlfriend. Well, I am certain it is really not an issue for the adults to actually forbid their kids to talk about this kind of puppy love. Yet I do wonder how to actually telling the kid what love is. To the kids, it is a kind of pure innocent love or liking of someone but in actual fact love comes with responsibilities and other confusing matters which to some adults, it is really hard to define as well.

Happy Valentine!

"Love, as it exists in society, is nothing but the exchange of two fantasies and the contact of two skins." Chamfort, Nicolas [Maximes et Pensees] (1741-1794)

Act 10- Express your LOVE...

Bedak kid was around today at the mall, he was with his mum shopping for the coming festive season, the mooncake festival just around the corner. I am going to prepare for the festive season too, as it is a custom to send the mooncakes for the elders.

He came up to me and showed me what he had bought, I saw some toys and an electrical lantern. I was teasing him that he couldn't carry a proper lantern and had to play with an elctrical one. LOL.

Well, he call for his mum and he told me, "You know, it is not that I couldn't carry the lantern with a candle inside, it's the concern of my mum that I carry an electrical one!" and then he hugged his mum tightly as to defend his mum's wish.

At that particular moment, I am touched to see how he express his love towards his mother. I then realise we seldom express our love to those that love us, we kind of give it a hint or two. We even did not mention it or express it often to let the other person feel how much we love them. Especially to our parents and love ones, even our siblings are important! We normally exagerate our hate and express less of our love, weird don't you think?

I seldom hug my mother and father....

I seldom hug my grand parents...

I seldom hug my husband /wife...

I seldom hug my kid...

and why is that so?

I hug my doll.

I hug my pet.

I hug my girlfriend /boyfriend.

I hug my friends.

and why is this so?

Those thoughts that counts....

I remember once someone told me that, " It is the thoughts that counts." I also heard it in the radio today................

So many ways of expressing oneself towards the others, the key to the basic communication tool are the thoughts. The thinking brain........ what is in our minds are more important than the words and actions! This is the basic rule for any relationship.

Of course every now and then we met people who doesn't speak their mind, or more often have the habit of twisting their words and become sarcastic and hypocrites. They usually do not speak the truth and tell you what you want to hear. Well some call it "white lie", it happens and it seem normal so to speak.

Here, I am trying to convey that, in any relationship........ COMMUNICATION is the key and sometimes, and often our thoughts are the uppermost importance as we do not always mention what we want as we want it to be call "Romantic" or "Caring". The notion of romantic always have a link to the thoughts.........

We sometimes will wonder whether our partner has eaten? sleep? safe? need help? etc. Or we care for family, friends even pets, strangers......... sick patient, or poor kids etc. Our thoughts for them are important, as this makes us feel alive and we will feel better as well if they understand how we have felt for them. Most often, they do not know as there are no follow up actions or any communication that help them to understand which most often cause misunderstanding; which is worse!

A phone call, a message, an email, a flower, a card...........etc. all these actually helps to brighten the day........ and making those people feel alive and happy. Such a wonderful thing to do.

So, a thought is not enough........... as communication speaks better than thoughts, romantic is a bit outdated these days... as people are using hand phones so much.... they can't wait to feel, they needed to talk!

Falling in love...

Falling in Love changes everything! It changes your life!

First it started to change your way of looking at things, change your attitude, change your lifestyle, change what you eat, drink and the way you sleep, the way you talk, you smile alot, you sing to yourself, you almost fly in the air. Alrite, now come back to earth!

I really love to watch people falling in love because they amused me alot. Stupid things they do to fall in love, saying words that is sooo.... irritating for others to listen....... spooky for me etc. Even I do that too but it feels weird when others listen to it, well that is falling in love... maybe?!?

Falling in love, is like a sudden lift that send you to heaven...... how long will the lift wait for you, no one knows......... the funny thing is that the lift will appear to you once in your lifetime. You do not always end up with the person who rides with you in that lift. That lift will descends and take you back to real life on earth and your moment in heaven will slowly collapse and those moments in heaven will be history!

Those moments in the heaven will be and must be cherished for life! Only some of those lucky people out there will get to hold their partners hands until the end of life, some don't so that's life and no big deal, right?

I have always been very cautious of Love. The part that I hesitate to mention is that, "Love is a choice we make"; and one has control over it at all times. We choose to love, we choose to hate as well. The choice is important, to love or not to love. It is that simple, but always people will forget about how simple that is and makes it complicated.

Love is a wondeful feeling that we all do not hesitate to go for it. It is also part of our desire to fall in love............ but remember also, once bitten twice shy; once it has been hurt, there is no recovery! So choose well people! Make a wise choice and live with it with the rest of your life and no regrets. Easy to say............. isn't it?

"Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction."

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Devotion - Part II

Devotion is a strong word. A word for commitment and requires constant concentration on a particular subject. Time consuming in fact, and fill with a strong desire for something.
Talking about love and marriage here reminds me of the idea of choices and decisions. A devotion of love for someone must not exceed the freedom of that person. Say the devotion of love for a child... it must not exceed their freedom to think, talk and act. If it surpasses all these factor, love becomes hatred! That is the law of all relationships. One can devote their entire life on a subject but that does not mean the subject will in return do the same towards you.
A choice is being made here, and you choose to devote your time and life in it, nobody ask you to. There is always a choice, a devotion becomes a decision over something, it can be changed and it can be stopped; it all depends on the idea of worth. Is the person worth your time and effort? Choose wisely to devote your time and effort towards a person, some people are just not worth doing so, they do not appreciate your devotion as well. It may become a burden towards them? Maybe not? Maybe just plain ignorance? Those are called selfishness instead, so why waste time? Life is too short to waste it on one person, don't ya think so?

The Devotion - part 1

According to traditional customs and laws, the meaning of a total devotion for a wife to her husband is to obey. No suggestions, no arguments, no voicing of opinions and no freedom. That's absolutely outrages to our world today!

We call that men's ego! We label them as old fashion, absurd and ridiculous! Yes, it's true........ they are trying to keep us girls in a cage, like a bird, doing what they want and suppose to treat them like a king!

Now wait a minute..... I'm am not a feminist, condemning all husbands out there! Yes, men are men and always will be, you can't change them! I am here to also reminding all wives that men needed their controlled over things. It is their nature to control / overpower all things that they care for. I know not all couples of husbands and wives are the same, yet one cannot deny the nature of all men.

To control is an ego thing, but must be reasonable and stated clear. If women take control over men at all times, what will they be like if they are not with their wives? Women on the other hand likes to over power men to show their motherhood!?! Subconsciously we are doing that very often and not knowing it.

To give total freedom is also not advised as well as we have to protect our own nest... so to speak. If you so liked the idea of freedom then you are not even ready to get married in the first place! You must foresee that either one of you'll be bound to stay and devote on the idea of having a family, be there always for your partner, be responsible of your actions, be a friend and support your partner, etc...... before you move on to the next step in life............. marriage!

For a women taking control over their own life is very important. You must first understand what you want for your family to work and not let it be and hope that things will work out. I am not the perfect wife here trying to advised people out there...... I kinda have some thoughts of people who does not care for what they already have, and then complain of the outcome later.

Marriage is not a solution for capturing a person's heart, marriage is a total devotion of life and responsibilities for both parties!

Perculiar subjects..........

The idea of intiating a match-make marraige from our parents are very often percieve as old tradition and out-of-date in our modern world. Well perculiar enough this happens a lot every where else.
I came to read an article about parents match-make a date and proposal of marraige through their parents by intiating it in a park. In china, one of their parents will hold a picture of thier child (son/daugther) and their resume/profile walking around the park hoping to find a partner for their child. Perculiar right? No wonder thier parks are full of people!
Thier son/daughter may not know that of their parents doings....... and would accept to meet at a restaurant and end up meeting thier so-called future partner in a blur mode situation! How fascinating!

Cuddling party.......

I once heard of the "Cuddling Party" in one of the articles in the papers. They mention that it is a kind of theraphy that people just cuddle each other and do nothing else. Most of them are strangers but do not get this wrong... it's not what you think it is as in the "S" is not involve. It is for people to experience the physical intimacy through cuddling.

What involve are groups of people actually cuddle each other and one may have a cuddle buddy. In fact there are rules and regulations for a Cuddle party. It is a non-sexual kind of activity. If you ever come across any discomfort youcan quit anytime.

In conjunction with this cuddle party thing, I think it mat be useful for some people who are not having any relationship. I personally feel that a lot of people has a need to feel loved and able to give love as well. So much so that the confidence in a relationship between men and women can be improved. Back to basics, our mother and father use to hug us, but not so much when you are getting older. What happens is our super-ego would probably be longing for a hug but well we do not simply hug a person. As our culture does not teach us to hug that much! So that is why partly this cuddle part is invented!

Well, part of us may want to hug the same sex but we also feel akward to do so especially for mens, so part of this cuddling party is actually for the same sex to approach another person and hug each other or hold each other in the arm and give them a pat at the back. Come to think of it that was what our mother use to do when we were young. Read more...

The Dating Investment....

Came across an article about relationships and came to wonder how true it is as I can see everone is practising it. The title here is pricing.... came across to me as how much a boyfriend-to-be / husband-to-be would invest on his girlfriend-to-be / wife-to-be. Why I used the word to-be because it hasn't happen yet..... that is when how much guys would invest on his girls. When the relationship has gone further than that...... the whole issue of price and money would not be necessary.

Many many think that it is too materialistic to talk about money. Romance is what people are seeking for............ tell me how long does the romance lasts? A lifetime? Only in fairytales...... so is it romantic if you keep on feeding your guy all things romantic with your own pocket money? It is a true fact. How can one ignore it! How much would a guy invest on a girl depends entirely on the girl herself. How much does she thinks she's worth? How long does she thinks she can keep the guy a lifetime? A short period of time? ........................Nothing is forever.

What a girl wants in her life is important. Also the girl must know where she stands or else all things will not go right. From the " The Joy Luck Club (film)" base on best-selling novel written by Amy Tan shows a women's worth and their belief in their worth and pride, without these qualities, guys will take advantages and girls will loose out.

Where to go, what to wear, where to eat and what to do? All these things came into the picture if you are dating or just hanging out together. All these involve money.....so who's paying? Traditionally, guys will pay but hey these days women call for equality, so girls should pay too! Now since when majority of women's pay are higher than mens? If both parties are earning the same amount, still women will be spending more on cosmetics, which mens normally won't....... women will be buying lots more clothes and shoes and have their hair done all just to hang out/ dating with men, so again who has to pay? Women?

Men on the other hand invest all the money for what? One simple answer.........sex! Alright, not all men and women are the same but majority are. Think about it!